Review - Between Me and the River by Carrie Host

Between Me and the River by Carrie Host
published 8/09
298 pages

Synopsis from the author's website:

Carrie Host knows that the diagnosis of a life-threatening illness takes a split second to change your life, as well as the lives of your partner, parents, children and all who love you. Packed with inspiration, advice, comfort and hope, Between Me and the River is Host's candid and uplifting memoir of how she found the strength and fortitude to triumph over a rare form of cancer, and craft a new and meaningful life.

When told at forty, with her youngest child just ten months old, that she had carcinoid tumor, Host felt as if she'd been hurled into a raging river, stripped of all forms of potential rescue. The voyage of this strong-minded, openhearted woman out of that river and onto safe shores is told with uncompromising honesty and respect for the miracles that medicine and love can work.

While dealing with practical issues such as how to find the best medical team and what to tell the children, Host also recounts the many spiritual and eye-opening lessons that made her journey so bearable: how to see what is available rather than what is absent, how to free up energy to heal by letting go of anger and fear, and how to believe in the future.

My thoughts:

This is the second book I've read in the past few months about dealing with a terminal illness - the first being Life's That Way by Jim Beaver. The two books made an interesting contrast, and I think work well together. Between Me and the River didn't make the emotional impact on me as the first book, but I think that was the nature of the book - it is much more about the PERSONAL experience of living with cancer, which I've never done, while Life's That Way is about watching someone live with the disease, which I have done. I think the two books compliment each other well, and would be excellent resources for a family who has just received such a life-changing diagnosis.

Carrie Host writes with amazing openness and honesty, showing the ugliness and pain of living through cancer, but also the hope and beauty that can be found in the midst of that pain. She pays moving tribute to the family and friends who were her "angels" through her struggle, and in particular the love and care of her husband was beautiful to read. I just complained last week about being tired of books about women with horrible husbands - this was a book about a woman with a wonderful husband, and it was wonderfully refreshing.

"I let the tears come. I just sit there and cry. I'm crying in a way that I don't recognize. At forty, these are tears that are coming from somewhere I don't feel ready to know about. My husband cries right beside me. I've never heard such sadness emerge from him before. We hold on to each other as only two people who might be separated forever do."

Host's writing is beautiful - she uses a river as metaphor for her disease, and it works very well to express the internal experiences a cancer patient goes through. Better than anything else I've read, this book helps me understand the myriad of emotions the author is forced to confront.

"Angels don't swim. They hover. The angel who has come to the river to guard me in the midst of the water's fury is hovering right above the spray and the deafening sound of rushing water that cannot be stopped. Unable to take to the water, the angel's holding fast to me with his presence from above. I'm clutching on to life in gasps, getting glimpses of hope hovering above me, as the river below takes me where it pleases."


Between Me and the River is a powerful memoir about a woman battling a terrible disease. It's not always easy to read, but it doesn't leave readers with a sense of sadness. It's ultimate message is hopeful, and I do recommend it, as a great resource and an excellent story.

Finished: 10/9/09
Source: Lisa Roe, Online Publicist
Rating: 8/10

Don't just take my word for it! Here's what some other fabulous bloggers had to say:

Beth Fish Reads
Violet Crush
Peeking Between the Pages
Joyfully Retired
My Friend Amy

My month in movies

"The chief difference between horror fans and science fiction fans lies in why they won't walk backwards. A horror fan won't walk backwards because he knows he'll be knifed by a madman. A science fiction fan won't walk backwards because he knows he'll step on the cat." ~Aaron Allston


Watchmen (2009) - I feel like this is a good companion to the graphic novel, but it didn't reach the depths the novel was able to find. It was also VERY long, and I wasn't crazy about actress who played Laurie, or the changes made to the ending - apparently, I'm one of the few who actually thought the original ending was good as it is. There were lots of good moments, however, and I was happy to hear much of the dialogue from the novel unchanged. But still, VERY long.

Dark Matter (2007) - Tragic story about a brilliant young Chinese student at an American university whose dreams are crushed when his work is dismissed. It's an interesting look at the politics involved in the university system, and features the fabulous Meryl Streep, which is why I rented it in the first place. Very good.

Sunshine Cleaning (2008) - a single mom tries to pay for private school for her overly-imaginative son by opening a biohazard removal service with her irresponsible sister. The performances by Amy Adams and Emily Blunt were fantastic - this is a very dark comedy, but smart and well written - ultimately a hopeful movie. Movies like this are why I love watching independent cinema.

Duplicity (2009) - Oh Julia Roberts, your grin still gets me. However, I think I might the only women on the planet who doesn't swoon at the sight of Clive Owen, so the romancy parts of the movie didn't really work for me. Also, this seemed overly complex, even for a spy movie. Not going to be on my list of favorites.

Adventureland (2009) - you know, I don't think Kristen Stewart actually acts - I think she's just herself in every movie she's in. I couldn't tell any difference between Emily in this movie, and Bella in Twilight. This was a nice movie, more intelligent than I expected.

Rudo y Cursi (2008) - Spanish-language film about two brothers with dreams of becoming stars. I love the Diego Luna/Gael Garcia Bernal acting combo, and they were wonderful again in this movie. Recommended if you like foreign films, and can handle some rough language.



My movie watching definitely suffered this month, with BBAW and season 4 of Supernatural to keep me busy. Hopefully I can make a bigger dent in my Netflix queue this month!

TSS - Review - A Circle of Souls

A Circle of Souls by Preetham Grandhi
published 6/09
352 pages

Synopsis from publisher:

The sleepy town of Newbury, Connecticut, is shocked when a little girl is found brutally murdered. With the murderer on the loose, the police desperately look for any clues to lead to his identy. Meanwhile, a psychiatrist in a nearby hospital is also in a desperate search to find the cause of seven-year-old Naya Hastings' devastating nightmares. Afraid that she might hurt herself in the midst of a torturous episode, Naya's parents have turned to the bright young doctor as their only hope. When these two situations converge, they set off an alarming chain of events. In this stunning psychological thriller, innocence gives way to evil, and trust lies forgotten in a web of deceit, fear, and murder.


My thoughts:

This was a fairly entertaining debut novel. I was in the mood for a good suspense novel, and this book really hit the spot. It didn't immediately grab me - I think because the first few chapters jump fairly rapidly from one perspective to another - but I was interested enough in the premise to keep reading. Before long, I found myself immersed in the story, and found the remainder of the novel to be a very quick read.

The author is a child psychiatrist himself, and his knowledge of the inner workings of the children's psychiatric unit of a hospital was apparent. The scenes with Dr. Gram and Naya in the hospital were especially poignant, and it is apparent that the author cares deeply for the children he treats. He gives readers some very interesting insights into the medical and psychiatric professions, and explains medical policies and procedures in a way that the average reader can understand. Personally, I could completely understand and sympathize with Dr. Gram's irritation and frustration with insurance companies, and found myself chuckling several times as he described that ordeal - I have been there!

If the novel has a weakness, it would be in a lack of character development. His two main characters, Peter Gram and Leia Bines, could have a lot of depth, and I don't think they were fully fleshed out in all the ways they could be. However, I can see the potential for a series with these characters, and think they would definitely be protagonists I would be interested in reading lots of stories about.

In general, I enjoyed this novel. It kept me entertained on a rainy afternoon, and I would like to see a second novel by this author.

Finished: 10/01/09
Source: the author - thank you!
Rating: 7/10